There is something important I want to write about. The pressure of finding and being in a relationship. The pressure that tells us that we cannot be complete without a significant other. I am pretty sure a lot of people, who are going to read this article, are or want to be in a relationship and have experienced this pressure as well. Others may have experienced it too but don’t really know what I am writing about just yet. Well let me explain what I mean with the pressure to be in a relationship and were it in my opinion comes from.

We all grew up watching a lot of movies and TV shows or getting read fairytales before going to bed. Maybe you never really noticed but a lot of the movies and TV shows we watched led us to believe that we need another person in our life. Especially shows designed for girls. Think about Barbie, the Disney Princesses, Winx, H2O,…you can probably add every other show you have wachted as a child. All these shows display relatively young girls getting in a relationship. But it’s not only movies and TV shows for kids, the things we watch as we get older aren’t getting any better. There are rarely any movies where there isn’t a romance story in them. The same counts for books. It seems like there is no good story that can spare a love story. Have you ever listened closely to the lyrics of the songs you listen to. A lot are talking about relationships. What I am trying to say with this is that we grow up, always getting shown a picture of perfect love stories and how a partner makes ones life better in the sense of becoming more popular to other people or making ones life simply more adventurous, in some cases even more livable. It’s no wonder that we all wish to be in a relationship.

The pressure isn’t just produced by movies, TV shows and books, it also comes from the media, especially social media. All the cute couple pictures we scroll through, all the pictures of people hugging and kissing each other leaves us wanting a person to do the same with. When we see others happy, than we want to be happy too. If the people achieved this happiness by dating a person than we automatically think we need some one to date too, so we can be as happy as the people in the pictures.

And last but not least the pressure from family and friends. When you are in a friend group where everyone or almost everyone is dating and you are the only one single you will feel left out. Everyone can talk about their boyfriend or girlfriend, but you haven’t got any exciting news of your significant other, because you don’t have one.

When was the last time you visited a relative? And most importantly, were you asked if you found a partner or if you are at least interested in someone? Because that happens rather often, especially when you visit you parents or grandparents. These questions come up almost every time and it seems as though we are expected to date someone.

With all these examples of how this pressure of being in a relationship comes to be I want to show that all of us grow up with having one goal set for us from the beginning of our lives: to be in a relationship. With all this pressure building up we look for a potantial partner in every person we meet. This is why a lot of people stumble into one relationship after another way too often, thinking they are in love, when really most of the times we just want it to be love, since love seems to be the most important goal in our lives.

In my opinion the hunt for the perfect partner ruins our lives. In this hunt we forget to think about ourselves and the goals that really matter to us. We need to stop the hunt and start living for ourselves, because when we have a healthy relationship with ourselves we are ready to date someone who will contribute to our lives and not just keeping us company, just because it’s better than being alone. Which is another big lie we are told day by day, because you can actually have the greatest of time just by yourself. If you do the things that you enjoy you don’t need someone else there with you, since just doing the things you like will bring you joy. And when it’s time you can share those things with someone else who will appreciate them just as much as you do.